Pagod sa Likod ng Tagumpay (Filipino Essay)

Pagod sa Likod ng Tagumpay (Filipino Essay)

Pagod sa Likod ng Tagumpay

Glenda S. Ramos

 

Nakakalungkot ang kapalaran, napakabigat ng mga pasanin. Tila wala nang tigil ang pagdaloy ng samut-saring mga problema.

Napakabilis lumipas ng panahon, napakabagsik ng bawat paparating na mga unos. Napakahirap sabayan ng ihip ng hangin.

            Pagod. Talagang nakakapagod minsan pakiwari mo’y pasan mo ang buong mundo.Ilang beses ka nang nagparaya ngunit ang nasa paligid mo’y patuloy pa rin  sa pagyurak ng iyong katauhan. Sila’y aliping sadlak ng kadiliman. Karamihan sa kanila ay mga bulag sa katotohanan, bingi sa katarungan at manhid ang mga puso’t isipan.  Bakit kaya sila ganito?  Di ba’t minsa’y naiisip mo at naitatanong sa iyong sarili kung bakit patuloy ka pa ring nabubuhay, humihinga, naglalakad patungo sa patutunguhan tumatahak sa landas na iyong dapat kalagyan? Minsan naman ay patakbo mong inaabot ang mga lumilipad na mga bituin ng iyong pangarap ngunit dahil sa kadahilanang ikaw ay minsang naging marupok ang nararapat na sana’y iyo nang abot-kamay ay iyo pang nabitiwan dahil sa ikaw ay nadapa. Dahil dito ay patuloy ka pa ring kinutya, ipahiya at tinuligsa. Pinilit mong tumayo sa pagkakagapang, hinanap mo ang kung sino man ang may lakas ng loob na magdaop palad sa kalagayan mong bigo. Ngunit, wala…itinaas at iniabot mo ang iyong mga kamay pilit kang nangapa sa sulok ng kadiliman. Nagsimula nang mamanhid ang buo mong katawan,nanginginig, nauubos nang unti-unti ang iyong lakas, nawawala na ang gumagaralgal mong mga tinig, naglalaho na sa iyong paningin ang bawat kulay na siyang sa iyo ay nagbibigay buhay. Sumusuko na ang buo mong katauhan. Makailang beses mo nang inisip ang paglisan ngunit bakit di mo pa rin makayanan.

            Isinisigaw ng iyong isipan, ibinubulong ng iyong katawan na pagod ka na. Ngunit kailangan mo pa ring maabala. Oo marami rin ang mga taong sa iyo ay naniniwala, at nagtitiwala. Ngunit paano kung suko ka na at gusto mo nang maging Malaya; sila ba’y may magagawa? Marami sa kanila ay hindi man lang alintana, ang hirap na iyong inaamba.

            Sa buhay ba naman, bakit kailangang may tadhana? Bakit ang tagumay ay kinakailangang may kapalit na labis-labis na pagdurusa? Oo, ito ngayon ang isang malaking katanungan; bakit kailangan ng pagkapagod sa likod ng tagumpay? Hindi ba’t dapat ka ngang  magsaya dahil nakatunton ka na sa mataas na pedestal na angat sa iba? Ngunit bakit paghihirap at pagkabalisa ang iyong nadarama?

            Tama ang sabi nila; napakasuwerte mo kung nagtagumpay ka, umaangkin ka ng mga katangiang wala sa iba at higit sa lahat ay angat ka sa kanila. Marami sa kanila ay taas noo sa pagsalubong sa iyo. Marami sa kanila ang nagnanais na makasama mo, maging parte ng buhay mo at maging katulad mo. Sabi nila kakaiba ka, kahanga-hanga, isang modelo. Ngunit ang hindi nila alam maraming nakakubling hinanakit sa likod ng tagumapy na iyong tinatamasa.

            Kung sa bagay, maari ka rin namang magtago sa likod ng iyong pagkatao. Maari kang magsuot ng maskara dahil ikaw lang naman ang tunay na nakakakilala kung sino ka, pagpapanggap ika nga. Tulad ng ginagawa ng iba.

            Di ba’t minsa’y pinipilit mong maging masaya kahit malungkot ka, tumawa kahit di mo kaya, libangin ang iyong sarili? Ano nga ba talaga ang dapat mong ipakita? Lalo na sa mga oras na itong ika’y pagod na. Pakiramdam mo ay nakukulong ka, walang laban, mahina, marupok, at walang kalayaan.  Lagi kang nabibiktima ng maling akala. Lagi mong ikinukubli ang lahat ng iyong mga pagdurusa. Inilililihis mo ang iyong landas sa mga nais na makakita sa mga patak ng luhang dumadaloy sa iyong mga mata. Ang pawis mo ay hindi mo na inaalintana. Pagod mo’y isinasawalang bahala.  Tunay ngang ikaw ay kaawa-awa ngunit ano pa ba ang iyong magagawa gayong ikaw ay di rin nila alintana?

            Positibong pananaw, yan ang lagi nilang bukambibig. Oo naniniwala ka sa positibong pananaw, pero kailangan ding paniwalaan ang limitasyong nakaabang sa bawat mong hakbang. Sana naman maalala nila na pagpahingahin ka kung ayaw nilang tuluyan ka nang mamaalam.

            Nakakatuwa ano, nagtagumpay ka, naging masaya dahil muling sumibol ang isang pag-asa. Ngunit bakit napakabilis at biglang napalitan ng hinagpis ang puso mong kanina’y naglulundag sa tuwa? Ngayon alam mo na na ang pagod ay laging nasa likod ng bawat tagumpay. Ngunit ganyan lang talaga ang buhay, sa pamamagitan nito ay nagkakaroon ng kulay. Sige labanan mo ang lahat. Kayanin mo, tahakin mo, lampasan mo, abutin mo at liparin kung talagang gusto mong malampasan at makapagpahinga, sa kabila ng lahat ng pagod sa likod ng iyong tagumpay.

Hello Friends!

Hello Friends!

Yes! Hello my dear friends! It’s been a long time since I haven’t updated my blog. I know some of you are already feeling itchy…hehehe trying to think of what will I write next. Or maybe you’re feeling so bored reading my page… Well, no comment on that. So now Charan!!! I’m filling another page again. With stories, stories that are worthy to be told. The last few days was really busy for me as it is always.

Still I’m continuously running for life. But with this busy career and life I’m being thankful to God for still he provides me with good friends who serves as my comforter and pain reliever. I’m still lucky for I’m finding friends who are really true. Genuine, not only in deeds but also in heart.

Reaching this age, I can’t imagine that I’ve been through many obstacles. I’ve been to many places which I never even thought I will reach. I’ve been with people I never expected would come my way. Well, life is really like that. The only thing I can say is that I’m enjoying life and I do believe that all things work together for good. And above all I believe that God is always there for me.

Only that sometimes there are really things and people that are hard to control. They were like calamities, they would just come if they wanted to. Yes, problems in our daily lives are unavoidable. They were always thrown to us and no matter how we change direction still it reaches us. And I’m glad that in my every encounters with them I’m learning new lessons and they’re serving as good purpose then. I know they were just spices of life.

Well, this last few days of my life was filled with mixed feelings and emotions. And I’ve been into a situation where I had to keep some secrets. Secrets! Huh! Yes, secrets regarding my feelings.  Regarding the things that I’m into. And this is really the ever hardest thing to do.I had to wear mask to hide the real feelings that I had. I had to laugh though I’m in pain. Yes, the ever hardest thing to do is to smile and make other people happy while at the back of that is a heart full of pain. It’s really hard to say you’re ok when everybody sees that you’re in tears. It’s really hard to make people believe you’re happy while they’re seeing you cry. It’s really hard to pretend you’re not hurt. But for me I’m trying my best to do so because this is the only way for me to get out of the maze where I’m trapped. And it gives me a feeling of relief somehow to see other people laughing and happy because of me. Another hardest thing to do is to deal with diffirent people with diffirent emotions in the same period of time.

Though sometimes you always wanted to look at the brighter side of the situation but you really will be tempted to turn or glance at the other side. Yes, control is really one great thing you could do to just avoid it.

But now all I can say is that I’m so happy for along the way I still meet people that makes me feel happy, contented and relieved. Friends are always important for me.

I had a new friend, he was really good, kind and honest. I like the way he talks to me. I like the way he gives advise. I like his being jolly and chubby. My friend ROC really deserves to be a part of this article. He was one great guy I’ve known.  He has respect and is true. I hope and I wish that I can meet more people like him.

He was like Mr. Coco they were consolers. They were great people with great heart. And in my life they will never be forgotten. They deserve a place in  my heart.

Mr. Coco and Friend ROC! I salute both of you for being my good, best of all best friends. Thanks for coming into my life and for being a part of me.

I know there were lots of people reading my blog and I don’t want to be biased. I love you all People! People of God. His great masterpieces!

Before I forgot…Kit, Glen, Philip, Rosanna-take good care of your health guys! I’ll be visiting you if I have time to be back there in Roxas. I miss you all friends. Thanks for always keeping in touch.

I love you all without exception!

To my Momma Gloria, Sis Geriza, Bro’s Geric and Gio..I miss you guys… Grandma, Aunt, cousins and all…I’ll be there soon. To give you my hug…I miss you all mwaaaahhh.

Don’t you worry I’m doing everything for all of you… God is good always remember guys!

Glenda

The Roxas Trip

The Roxas Trip

Mr. Coco and MeThe ThreesomeMah Cyber Dad

Some Picts taken by Mr. Coco on his visit to Roxas…Together with him in the picts is Ma’aM Jo and me the mushroom…

We really had a lot of fun doing the walkathon and talkathon…

Hehehe this two visitors really enjoyed and for sure really got so tired..hehehe

But they’re still managing to smile on our pictures.Actually were all tired…but happy together!!!