How are we?

How are we?

We are good so far, we are loved, we are thankful. We are alive.

I’d like to write today to thank God for everything, all the guidance, all the wisdom, blessings, trials, lessons in life.

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Hey Gweneth!

Hey Gweneth!

Hey Gweneth, how are you, what’s going on, I miss you so much, been so long since I came back on your beautiful pages, sorry about that. I know I should have written more, I should have remembered our friendship.

You are the one friend I had and yet I left you hanging for so long. So now I am back, I wish to once again share more stories with you.

I’ve been thinking a lot about you lately, my dear Gweneth. Let’s stay awesome together.

You know people have been asking me before why I named you Gwenetian Chronicle and what’s with that but, it will be our secret. I won’t tell and no one will know. I really miss you so much my Gweneth my Blog my life. I should go back and write to you more often.

This is it for now.

If you look at it our love is a whirlwind

If you look at it our love is a whirlwind

One day I wanted to be able to look back to this day and remember that my heart beat is louder than ever for you, only you my love.

Indeed the force is so strong like the whirlwind, it’s massive, destructive, exaggerated and all that. Inside this whirlwind are a mix of emotions this love has brought and taught me. My secret formula is always love. Hate, anger, pain, hopelessness, sadness, fear when I equate them with my love for you they always turn to what I didn’t expect for them to. A much stronger and braver love that can conquer all.

Of all the things that happened, today is the day that I realize that the fight I have chosen is all worth it. You are worth fighting for. All the pain, tears, anger, frustrations letting them go and fighting them is never that easy. They were like dragons taking my heart out and burning it over and over again. I cried thousands of times, I pitied myself, think of just ending my earth, blamed myself and all that and then I realized it was all because of my fear of losing you. And then I stood up, faced all these demons and conquered them one by one with the only weapon I have, my love for you. In the midst of this battle I almost gave up because the dark power that enveloped your heart is closing so fast that it almost blinded your love. You were so tempted that I had a hard time fighting back. But then as I was about to surrender I looked at you and felt and saw in your eyes the struggle and your willingness to get out of that dark power. Imprisoned and bound by this spell it made you weak and in need of a rescue. And for one last time as the enemies are bombarding me with so much force I took the chance to listen to my heartbeat. And it sounded stronger, stronger than ever. Focusing on this very energy I gathered my one last strength and as they were caving in towards us I closed my eyes and hugged you tight and freely we fell in this abyss and then the darkness grew and covered us both and suddenly all darkness were replaced with blinding lights then came the colors, bubbles, flowers, rainbows and we’re back! We won! Yes I won! Now stronger than ever no dark spell can ever bind your heart again, no dark powers will ever come to take you away from me. They were now buried inside my heartbeat who will beat for you forever! No more escape for the demons for our love conquers all!

One day when we get the chance to read this again we will be reminded of how much our love has gone through and how much our love grew.

Days will pass and we will somehow leave this earth when time comes but let this  be a testament that the journey of our love is a path no one has ever taken.

From this day forward I will love you like I’m gonna lose you.

Nakakapanibago

Nakakapanibago

Naalala ko noong una ko pa lang nadiskubre ang blogging sobrang saya ko magsulat araw-araw. Bago pa ako sa online noon, kumbaga kung sa mga online gamers “noob” ang tawag nila. Baguhan, konti pa lang ang alam. So ayun araw-araw nagsusulat ako tungkol sa mga ginagawa ko sa trabaho, sa bahay, sa buhay. Ginawa kong diary kasi hindi ko naman talaga alam na maari palang makita ng ibang tao ang isinusulat ko.

Pero mabuti naman yon at wala naman talaga akong dapat ikatakot kasi sa palagay ko wala naman na tayong maitatago sa mundo. Minsan nga mabuti na bukas lang ang paningin mo sa lahat ng bagay. Parang ang gaan lang ng lahat kung wala kang inaalala. Pero syempre hindi naman a lahat ng oras walang dapat alalahanin. Hindi din naman perpekto ang buhay. Siguro magtataka ang iba kung bakit tagalog itong panulat ko ngayon. Wala lang, ang tagal lang din kasi na hindi na ako nakapagsulat ng tagalog. Pakiramdam ko kelangan kung balikan kasi ayoko talaga makalimot ng sariling atin.

Minsan kasi nakakasawa na rin magbasa ng English, lahat kasi ng tao ngayon gusto nang malaman ng buong mundo ang lahat na gusto nilang sabihin, ginagawa, gagawin at kung anu-ano pa. Tulad ng social media lahat na yata ng nakita ko kahit anong lahi man ang mga ito ay talagang pinagsusumikapan na English ang status sa bawat araw. Kahit sa mga panayam sa TV at Radyo gustong-gusto nila English ang sagot sa mga tanong. Wala naman akong problema dun, ang sa akin lang naman syempre mas maigi pa rin na di makalimot sa sariling atin. Kung ang mga Japanese nga ay nakakatanggap ng Noble Prize awards at Writer’s award sa mga isinusulat nilang aklat na sa sarili nilang wika, tayo pa kaya. Ang punto lang, kaya nalang ipagmalaki sa buong mundo ang sarili nilang kultura, wika, panulat at kung anu-ano pa.

Hayyyy nakakamiss lang talagang magsulat, parang ang daming maaring sabihin at ibahagi. Gusto ko pa ring balikan ang impluwensya ng social media sa ating lahat. Ang mga ito naman ay sadyang obserbasyon lamang. Yung mga bagay na dati ay hindi pangkaraniwan na parang masasabi mong “Ay oo nga anu?” Ayoko namang maging negatibo sa panulat na ito pero gusto ko lang matukoy ang mga bagay-bagay na napagtuunan ng aking pansin sa mga nakaraang taon, araw, buwan. Una sa lahat, ng dahil sa social media ang dami ng mga taong nagpapanggap, nakakalimot at gayundin nabibiktima. Nagpapanggap kasi yung iba kahit na hindi naman talagang mayaman lahat ginagawa para magmukhang mayaman at angat sa iba kapag nag post sa kanilang social page, nagpapanggap na magaling kasi mahilig manumbat sa kapwa, nagpapanggap na hindi na marunong managalog kasi nakatira na sa ibang bansa, nagpapanggap na babae kahit lalaki pala, nagpapanggap na mabait at palakaibigan, lahat ng sosyal na pagkain kahit napicturan lang naman pala at hindi naman talaga aktwal na nakain at natikman at pinopost, lahat gustong maging mas angat sa bawat isa, pabonggahan ng bags, damit, sapatos, bahay, travels, ultimong bagong palit na punda na LV ang tatak at nabili sa relip ay ipopost yun kasi nga pangmayaman.

Heto na ngayon ang tungkol sa nakalimot. Ang mga taong nabanggit sa taas ay nakalimot na pala na sa squatter lang sya nakatira, wala pala talaga syang magarang bahay, kotse at mamahaling bag, nakalimot lang sya talagang magpakatotoo, nalimutan na din nya na gutom na pala ang mga anak nya kasi di sya nakapagsaing sa sobrang busy nya na makapag post ng bagong manicure nyang kuko eh pambili pa sana pala ng bigas ang binayad nya doon, may isa naman na ang daming travels at lakwatsa pero nakalimot na may nanay pala syang nag aantay sa bahay nila, may mga kapatid din pala sya, lola, auntie, pinsan na sabik na sabik na makita sya, pero dahil sosyal sya mga kaibigan nya lang ang kasama palagi sa outing. Tapos heto namang isa na nagkataon na nakapag abroad at pinopost pa ang mga kinitang pera sa page nya pero nakalimutan nya namang magbigay sa pamilya nya na syang nagpakahirap makapagtapos man lang sya. Meron din isang mapagkawang gawa lahat ng ginawang pagtulong ay naka social media din, ang daming natulungan pero nakalimot naman na marami din pala sa kapamilya nya ang talagang nangangailangan na totoong tulong. Meron din namang nakalimot na magsabi ng I love sa nanay nya na nasa tabi lang pala nya, pero ang dami namang sinasabihan ng I love you sa social media tapos may nagpaalala na birthday pala ng nanay nya sa araw na yun, pero yun sa social media binati ang nanay eh nasa bahay naman sya, anu ba namang lapitan mo ang nanay mo at yakapin sa sabihang i love you, Hayyy kakaawa talaga. Marami pa eh hindi ko mabanggit lahat.

Heto naman ang mga nabibiktima, ang pinakauna sa lahat gusto kong tukuyin ay ang mga biktima ng insecurities at inggit na dahil sa nakitang magandang post nga ka social media ay agad ng nag self pity at na insecure at naiinggit. Dahil doon nagalit sa sarili, sa nanay, sa asawa, sa kapatid kasi wala sya nun. Wag ganyan kapatid, kaya mo rin yan, kung hindi man marami namang mga bagay na maari mong paghugutan ng kasiyahan mo. Oo nga’t nakabili sya ng magarang bahay at kotse pero wala naman sa pamilya nya ang gustong makasama sya kasi nga sobrang matapobre na sya dahil sa achievements nya, samantalang ikaw, kasama mo ang pamilya mo, kahit simpleng buhay pero masaya naman kayo. Yung mga ganyang pag-iisip dapat hindi ba? Tapos meron din naman na sa sobrang paniwala na ang yaman yaman na nya ay biglang lumagpak ulit sa lupa kasi nagpabiktima sa silaw ng salapi at makamundong bagay, eh anu ngayon hiyang hiya na sya kasi lahat ng na post nya sa social media ay naglahong parang bula. Kaya nga friend dapat huwag kampante sa buhay kasi habang patuloy na uminog ang gulong pumapaibaba talaga yan sa para mabuo ang cycle. Enjoy lang kung anong meron ka at sanayin ang sarili na hindi lahat ng oras masaya mag social media. Minsan mag post ka din ng sad moments, yung legit na sad moments hindi yung peke.

Ayyy naku! andami ko na yatang nasabi dito. Quits na muna. Sa susunod ulit! Abangan!

Everyday I love you

Everyday I love you

You knew you love someone when your day is not complete without him or her.

Your favorite part of the day is waking up every morning and seeing him beside you. That smile on your face upon seeing him and you stare and kiss him gently while he sleeps and you take his arms wrap it around you and hug him. Then you think of how lucky you are to be beside the man of your dreams.All of that is enough to strengthen your day.

This is how I feel every waking day. With the man of my dreams, my husband, my friend, my lover and my best friend.

He is the best gift to me. Although our relationship has been though a lot of rough roads but we always manage to overcome and acknowledge each mistakes and correct them and become more stronger than ever.

He is very understanding and caring and loving. I love my husband very much.

 

Note to Self- #Selfday

Note to Self- #Selfday

Hey self, so how are you doing! Today let’s celebrate and look forward to all the good things in life. You’ve been through a lot lately and you deserve to be celebrated. You have a lot of fears to leave behind, look at the rainbows when you see them for they seldom show up but when they do it sure is hope and happiness that it brings. Life is amazing and don’t miss the chance of savoring every bit of it. Internalize your beauty coz you are beautiful. Congratulations for all the conquering, for being strong, for speaking up your mind, for taking time to think when you are so down. Self I salute you for all of the fears, anger, frustrations, failures that made you realize how strong you are and how invincible is your weapon, your faith in God. Kudos self for working so hard and doing everything and above that for never ever forgetting that you’re doing it not only for you but your family. Self always be reminded that your family and God is your greatest strength and that you can conquer all just as long as you leave your fears behind and trust and surrender your heart to God. ‪#‎iloveyouself‬ and ‪#‎todayisselfday‬